No Words……

 

“Mom, why did that boy do that thing to all those kids?”

I pause, with my hand on his door, and turn to look at my innocent little 5  year old tucked safe in his bed.

I kneel by his bed, with tears in my eyes, and try to find the words to explain something that I don’t understand myself.

“I don’t know buddy.”

“Did it hurt?”

“No baby, God was with those kids that day and he put a giant blanket around them and they didn’t feel anything at all.”

He seems satisfied with that answer and rolls over, hugging his Curious George closer to him.

Why am I having to answer questions about this? Why am I living in a country where little kids now have to fear going to school? Why do I have to explain to MY 5 year old, that kids his own age were innocent victims in a horrendous crime? It makes my heart break in a million little pieces.

Pax said he overheard Josh and I talking about it, I thought I was doing a good job sheltering him from all of this. I guess not, and really, there is no easy way to discuss something like this with a small child. They don’t teach this in parenting classes.

“Ok class, so that’s how you change a diaper, next class we will discuss how to talk to your child after a mass shooting at an elementary school.”

I never thought I would have to have a conversation about this………with my 5 year old…….who is now a little less innocent since this happened.

I hope things change, something has to. Or else I fear the world my children will have to grow up in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dream Big………..

So this week I did something big….no HUGE. I have been pondering this for a while now, playing around with the idea, hearing my best friend tell me that it’s something I should do……. but I just kept hesitating. Dragging my feet, if you will. I made a website for it, about a month ago, and have been lingering with the mouse over that publish button for about a week. Each time I was about to click on it, I would chicken out and close the laptop and step away.

But I finally grew a pair, opened that website, purchased the domain name and went public with my photography business. (Insert panicked scream here)

I love photography, love love love it. I LOVE taking pictures. I LOVE editing and seeing something that was “eh” straight out of the camera turn into something pretty cool. I love capturing a moment in time and freezing it with a simple “click” of the camera and all of a sudden it becomes a memory for someone to treasure.

I don’t love the idea of putting myself out there for criticism because, let’s be honest, it’s going to happen. I don’t love the idea of potentially losing this passion for photography because, let’s be honest, it might happen. I don’t love the idea of putting one more thing on an already full plate because, let’s be honest, that’s already happening.

But maybe this just means I need to get a thicker skin, always try to remember why I started doing this in the first place (see paragraph 3), and maybe clear my plate a bit to make room for something that truly matters to me and is good for my soul.

You see, I can’t live thinking “what if?” It’s about taking a chance, it’s about trying to believe in myself since there are others who already do…….and I thank you (you know who you are). I can’t even tell you how much that means to me and how flattered I am for your confidence in me when I have a hard time being confident in myself. It’s about acknowledging your little shove in my back that urged me to take this giant leap and do something that I never would have had the nerve to do alone.

And to everyone who might not think I am the greatest at photography, I tell you this: I’m not trying to pretend to be. I am sure I have a lot of growing and learning to do, and I plan on doing it. But I am also taking a huge risk and following my dream……and really how can you hate on that?

(Editors note: I have not heard any negativity towards this decision, I am just being proactive and addressing it now because it’s bound to happen, as it does with all businesses.)

And to those who support me and have given me kind words? Thank you. Simply……...thank you. There are no other words that can truly convey the depth of gratitude I have for your encouragement and positive feedback.

So here I stand, at the beginning of who knows what, a little scared, a bit overwhelmed, and a lot excited about what could come of this………A life without risk really isn’t much of a life at all. So here I go………

http://www.amyhallphotographyks.net/

And no post would be complete without a couple photos of my favorite subjects!