This week has been full of changes. Josh and I sat down this week and decided that I would stay at home with the kids. I have been working at the YMCA since we moved here, I started out in membership and recently took on a position as the Youth and Family Coordinator (while still doing membership). So each week I work 15 hours in membership and 15 in my coordinating position. I love my job, I love the Y, but working for a non-profit organization doesn't pay a ton. We finally realized that after all was said and done, I was only bringing home $100 a month!! So we decided I would stop working membership and only do my coordinating position because the hours are a lot more flexible (I have to work 15 hours a week, doesn't matter when, basically make my own schedule) plus I really love that position and am excited about all the new things we are doing in my department. Sounds great right?
Well I am feeling all sorts of emotions. I am nervous because I have always said (and still think) that being a stay-at-home Mom is the hardest job EVER! I am sad because I will be taking the kids out of daycare, and they love it there!! Well Harper may be too young to realize what's happening, but we have been talking to Pax about it and he is sad. He has gone to Jenn's house since we moved here almost 2 years ago. She has loved our kids and taken such great care of them, we are so grateful to her for being so wonderful with our children. She not only took Pax in when she wasn't taking any more new kids, but then she took in our little "surprise" baby too. My kids love Jenn, I know this when Pax asks me on Saturday mornings if he is going to Jenns' house and when I say no, he gets sad (thanks Buddy) and I know it when Harper aka "Mamas Girl" pretty much lunges out of my arms when I drop her off in the mornings. You CANNOT put a price on good childcare, and you CANNOT put a price on someone who genuinely cares for your children. When I ask Pax how he feels about staying at home with me he says "but I will miss Jenn and my fwiends" cue tears!!! Gah! I told Jenn about our decision today, and I cried (duh), and she was super great about it (duh again).
So I guess we are about to start a new chapter in our lives. If anyone has any advice on staying home with kids, please disperse now.
Another big change that happened this week is Josh's Grandma Hall took a turn for the worse. She has alzheimers and we have watched helplessly as this awful disease robbed us of an energetic, INDEPENDENT, talkative, loving woman. This weekend she suffered a stroke. We don't know how much longer she will be with us, we have been told not long. She is a great woman, I miss her so much already, I don't want her to suffer.............some changes really suck! 
this is such an heart felt post. i don't have a child who can understand a lot of things, but i would think it would be hard to have to watch pax be sad.
ReplyDeletehowever, hopefully some good things will come out of you staying at home with them for right now. i am sure you will make fun times with the kiddos
I think Pax will really enjoy having you around. Changing a kid's schedule is always a big deal. Once he realizes he will get to have you around more AND still get to do fun things (like crafts and playgrounds etc.) He will probably never want to go back to a daycare. I wanted nothing more than to be able to be home with Will for the first year and a half of his life. Now that I am living it I find that it is harder than it seemed. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE it, but it is hard to keep him busy with fun crafts and outings all of the time and not fill the rest of the time up with TV shows. It is an adjustment. At first I thought, wow I am home all the time now I can stay on top of laundry and cooking/cleaning but that is just not always the case because the time I am home isn't spent that way but spent "playing". I would just suggest finding fun groups like open gym and the library reading group. Those small outings will give him a chance to interact with kids still and give you all a breath of fresh air once in a while. You will LOVE the change
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