Saturday, July 21, 2012

Hey Remember My Kids?

Probably not, since it’s been about a decade since I blogged about them. Lately the blog has been all about me, me, me (as it should be) and I think my family is probably jonesin’ for some kid updates.

This summer has been brutal, the heat pretty much ruined my fun summer plans……….oh who am I kidding, I didn’t have any fun summer plans planned, I was totally going to wing it, what do I look like? A teacher? So the heat is totally ruining my non-planned summer. We basically stay holed up in our cave of a home must afternoons (literally it is like a cave because our windows SUCK and let heat in so we have to keep all curtains closed, we are all borderline vampires now).

Sometimes we go to the splash park, but even that isn’t much fun with 5 bajillion kids who try to steal our toys and Mama Hall has to get all up in their biz and make them give it back (I am all for my kids sharing, but if you don’t pack toys for your kids, that’s your problem not mine!) And Harper is afraid of it, yes I could see how a park that sprays WATER in the million degree weather would be scary? Wha-at? No!! I would have killed to have something like that back in my day, we had to make do with those slip in slides in the backyard, which let’s admit it, were not that much fun and the grass cuts you got from walking on wet grass SUCKED! Kids these days, spoiled rotten I tell ya.

The pool is another option,  ya know if I had 9 sets of eyes. As it is, I only have one, so I spend my entire time scanning the pool in a panic:

“where’s my kids?”

“oh there they are.”

“shit, now where are they?”

“ok, right there.”

“now where did they go?”

It’s not fun, unless I bring my nanny, and by nanny I mean my husband, and that never happens. So basically my options are home….and home. Lame-o.

We do have a blow-up pool for the backyard, but by the time I blow the bad boy up and fill it, I am ready to lay down and take a nap.

Harper is still head-strong as ever. She cut her hair about a month ago, taking it from semi- Joe Dirtish to full on Billy Ray Cyrus. AWESOME! Her favorite things to do right now are dance and sing, and she obviously rocks at both of them as these following videos will show:


I promise I dress her, but as I mentioned above, she has a mind of her own and often undresses herself. If this is any clue to what her profession will be later in life, just shoot me now.

She makes me laugh, but man does that girl test me.


left to right: Eating chicken bones (wings); waiting for Doctor at another ear re-check, we see the ENT in 2 weeks; mullet, no other words needed; totally pumped for family fun day; she insists on wearing her tutu to bed every night, and sometimes her tiara; tiny dancer; a bed full of books, just like her Mama; lipstick mishap; afternoon at “the pool.”

Paxton is a ball of energy all.the.time. He does not nap, and goes about 100 miles an hour until bedtime. Then he crashes and sleeps hard and late. He takes after his father, and it sucks getting that kid up. He is fearless in the water and has really made a lot of progress this summer. He can jump off the diving board and swim to the side without floaties… absolutely scares the shit out of me, but he loves doing it. He was all about the 4th of July this year and was shooting off anything he could get his hands on……….Harper and I were cowering under the table, I have no idea where her fear of fireworks comes from.


left to right: geek squad; fun at the park; learning the cable company had blocked Nick Jr; cosmic bowling; bottle rockets with Dad (aaaahhh!!); GRRRRR with his new bestie Tyler; seriously followed Tyler around the whole night on the 4th of July.

And when they aren’t trying to kill each other, Pax and Harper get along famously.


And when I am not busy with my own children, I go over to my B’s house to get some snuggle time in with this little creature.


Miss Amelia Blair has totally stolen my heart and I can’t wait to have lots more cuddles with her and take more pictures. She is pure perfection.

So to sum it up, it’s f-ing hot, Harper hasn’t changed, Pax hasn’t changed, they keep me on my toes but give me lots of laughs too. I love my kids; mullet hair, no naps, stubborn, crazy, scared of everything, dancing, singing, sleeping late, and all.

HMT….week 1

That’s half marathon training, for those of you who can’t figure it out. Mainly because I am too lazy to spell it out……wait I just did, didn’t I? Fail.

Today was our first group run for training. We met at the late hour of 6 a.m. (seriously 6 is late when you are used to 5 a.m. bootcamp and 4 a.m. runs with the ladies…and one dude.) Our fearless leader, B, was there to greet all of us. However, unlike last year, she would not be running with us, having a baby will do that to you. Never fear, she will be back as soon as she has the go-ahead from the doctor!

Originally (as in my last blog post) I had stated that I planned on running in the faster pace group, but upon arriving today and looking at the people in that group, I crapped my pants, I decided that maybe I should go in the middle group for now. Yes, yes, I know I already put it out there on the interwebs that I was doing the faster pace, and yes I realize that makes me look like a total loser, but I was sooooo scared that group would kick my a$% and I would be the very last person to come in from the run and that looking like a loser on my blog was a lot worse than looking like a loser in front of the running group. Gasp, that was a long sentence, my 8th grade English teacher would have a fit over that!!

But, I digress.

The run went well at the beginning, we had 5 miles, but I made the mistake of stopping to drink some water at the halfway point and then my muscles were all like:

“Yes!! We are done running, let’s get all crampy and tired now.”

So when I started running again, they were all like:

“Ahhh! What the hell is she doing to us? I thought we were done, we will show her.”

So the 2nd half was not so great. I was pretty disappointed in myself (and my muscles……jerks), but it was the first run of the training season and I learned my lesson: don’t stop to drink water unless you are near death.

I am not even sure on my time. I don’t have a Garmin and I didn’t even check the time on my phone when we left and when we came back. My main focus was 1. not dying and 2. not being last. Success!!

I am excited to see what this training brings, I DO want to push myself. I would like to eventually move up to the faster group, but right now I need to get back in the rhythm of longer distances (up until now I have only been doing about 3 miles) and then work on my speed.

I love this running “family” there is nothing better than being on that long run……being tired and hot, cussing out your legs who have decided to turn against you, praying for just a SMALL breeze to cool you off, swallowing bugs and watching out for sasquatch…….. and passing others on the path and hearing them say “good job guys” or “lookin’ good, almost there.” That’s what is great about this group; yes we are all there to get better, and be faster and more effective, but we are also there to cheer each other on and give support (and lots of laughs) when it’s needed.

So to all my running group: I look forward to spending the next 12 (sweaty and sometimes brutal) weeks with you.

To the new kids on the block: welcome to the cult (just kidding………sort of), we are glad you are here. You are going to do great things and achieve great things in the coming weeks.

And to the other peeps, who have “been there, done that,” here is to another successful training season. I look forward to making many more memories (and jokes) with you. (Except you Chris Oliver, you I want to trip.)

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run."
--John Bingham

(2012 Full/Half Marathon Training Group)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Here I Go Again On My Own………A.K.A. the post where I am brutally honest.

I joined Weight Watchers again yesterday. It’s time my friends… I have been totally slacking in the “watch what I eat” or  “no you DON’T need to eat a 5th cupcake” department.

June was a crap-shoot, being my birthday month and all. It’s a blur of eating out, bbq’s, and drinks (that usually led to MORE eating).  And Vegas? Shooooot, that’s like fat kid HEAVEN right thur folks.

And now, I feel it (and obviously SEE it)…..and I hate it. I hate myself for becoming like this (get a HOLD of yourself WOMAN!!) Every week I say:

“this is it, this is the week,” and then it’s not.

So yesterday, I decided enough was enough. Shiz is going to change around here!! So I got online and signed up for WW online before I lost my nerve.

I did WW in the past and LOVED it, I wasn’t even running like I am now and didn’t work out consistently but I still lost weight. So I am excited to see the results now that I am training again for a half (say wha-at!?!?) and doing bootcamp (which is still brutal, don’t believe me? Ask my ass today.)

I see those all those diet options that are out there right now and I am even guilty of trying one out. I won’t say what it is, I am not here to talk crap on a company or people who choose to use those products. All I am saying is that it wasn’t for me. Yes it worked temporarily, but I thought to myself

“is this something I foresee doing for the rest of my life?”

And the truth was, I didn’t. For me it has to be about eating better, making better choices, holding myself accountable. Not about taking a pill, or drinking this shake or taking 5 pills, drinking 3 shakes, using this cream, sprinkling this powder on food……….aaaaaahhhhh it makes me want to scream. Who can remember all that? And the cost? Ridic. Again, if this is what you choose and it works for you, then great, I am truly happy for you. It’s just not what is going to work for me, in the long run.

So I signed up, went to the grocery store, cleaned out my fridge and pantry………let me tell you how heartbreaking it was to throw out 2 perfectly good pies (butterfinger and key lime) that I had made this weekend for a bbq…… I may have shed a tear. However, I knew that if it was in there, it would end up in my face eventually.

And now here I am, blog vomiting this all out there because that is another way I can hold myself accountable. It is now officially on the interwebs, and just like my first half marathon, once it’s on here, I have to do it…………..or risk looking like a complete arse.

I also weighed myself yesterday and then texted my friend B to tell her about it:

Me: “I weighed myself this morning……then tried jumping out the window.”

B: “What made you weigh yourself?”

Me: “The conversation we had last night, you asked me what my goal weight was and I admitted I didn’t even know my current weight.”

B: “So you’re saying in the note you would have left before jumping out the window, you would have blamed me?”

Me: “Yes, the note would go like this:

B made me do it.

Love Amy.

PS-I want to be buried in my overalls or I will haunt your asses!!!

PPS- burn that f-ing scale, she is a b$#&-whore liar”

B: “Yeah I wouldn’t let anyone see that note, not because you would blame me, but because of those ugly ass overalls.”

Me: “ Fine, then consider yourself HAUNTED! I will wait until you are in the shower and scare you so bad that you run out naked. I will go all Freddy Kruger on your ass.”

B: “Ummmm, how would you get in? I think I am safe.”

Me: “I am a ghost!! I GO THROUGH WALLS AND SHIT!!”

Ok so there is an example of why I hate weighing myself, and also the incredibly odd texting conversations B and I have together. And please forgive me for the cussing, sometimes I just think it is the most effective way to get my point across, plus it’s not like I am saying it in front of the children, I am texting it……and they can’t read!

So thus begins my journey. The first week is the hardest, all you think about is food, food, food. And cheese, I would cover my van in queso and eat the crap out of it right now. It’s like going through food detox, you get the shakes, vomit, hallucinate……….ok not really, but you get my point. Getting out of your old habits and into new ones is hard. And no I am not quitting cold turkey, I am going to allow myself a few bad things here and there.

I will be blogging about it, the good and the bad, because I know that’s how I will hold myself accountable.

Also, training starts on Saturday, 6 miles. I am excited. This is the same group that I trained with last summer when I did my first half. It’s a fun group, and a great training program so I am excited to see if I can improve my time. I am running in the faster pace group, I want to push myself, but it makes me nervous.

Wish me luck on WW, running, and not jumping out of any windows. But if I do……….the overalls are hanging in my closet.


Monday, July 2, 2012

June…..It Rocked My World

Still managed to get a song in the title, and it’s Michael Jackson which is sooooo fitting for my month of June!!

Hey, it’s July up in here, wha-what!!! Why is that so exciting? It means I don’t have any more trips or weekends away planned and my poor liver can have a much needed break.

Here is a breakdown of my month of June:

Surprise party given by my bestie.

Weekend to Milford Lake

Trip to Vegas

Actual 30th Birthday weekend (which actually did NOT involve any partying, go figure). It did involve a movie, air show and carnival.

Weekend in Manhattan for Frakes wedding.

Phew. That, my friends, is a lot of good times right there. Gooooood times.

I have yet to do my Vegas post, and I probably never will so here is a snippet of what went down in Sin City:

We partied, we gambled, we stayed up waaaay too late, we freaked out when we saw a Michael Jackson impersonator perform (oh wait, that was just me), we ate lots of food, rode the scary a#$ roller-coaster at NY NY, saw the fountains at Bellagio, got harassed by the hooker card people on the streets, lost money, won money, lost it again, got arrested.

Totally kidding on that last one, just seeing if you were still paying attention.


Left to right: Beer with the hubs before we left for Vegas. On the plane. View from plane (thank you JOSH for not paying extra for reserved seats, I now have a view of the engine…wait that IS the engine right?). Bloody Mary on the plane (shitty view? Might as well drink!!). MJ slot machine, rock on! Riding in the elevator alone. View from the pool. Scary a#$ roller coaster. Sis and I at pool. Sis and I at dinner. After dinner coffee in Vegas=lame, but I needed a pick-me-up. Reason for my freak out, oh hells yeah! Bumblebee and I, Pax thought this picture was SO COOL!! Bellagio fountains at day. Bellagio fountains at night WITH the hubby who had finally recovered from his all night bender and joined me. Great dinner with even better friends.

And of course my 2 favorite pics from V-Town:

Bam! Amazeballs!


This was from my actual birthday weekend:







 These are from our trip to heaven, crap, I mean Manhattan. I got to babysit Baby Jackson (bottom left pic, don’t you die from his cuteness?); kids and I enjoyed some Orange Leaf (seriously Manhattan, you wait until I move to get cool?!? Anyone from Manhattan will totally understand what I mean by that, that town is LEGIT now!!!); and of course Christopher Wayne Frakes got married!!! I have known this boy since he was a little fella and now he is all growned up and handsome and totally in love with his beautiful wife. Willie the Wildcat even made an appearance, HOLLA!!

And I just have to mention that my 6 year wedding anniversary was the same day as the wedding and my dates were……my kids. Sigh, such is the life of a restaurant owner. My pregnant sister took my kiddos home so I could hang out longer at the reception, so then my dates were……… Dad and Brother in-law. Wha-what, happy anniversary to me!!!

Speaking of pregnant sister:

I'm a GIRL!!!

Woo hoo!! Harper is going to have a little friend! Watch out Paxton and Aiden, these girls are going to rule you!!!

And speaking of little babies, my best friend B had her little girl yesterday. Amelia Blair Lane is here and I can’t wait to snuggle and spoil her!! Mommy and baby are doing well and should be home tomorrow!


So June was a busy month, but a FUN month. I am looking forward to a slower pace of life in July; poolin’ it up with the kids, begin training for 3rd half marathon, shopping for my niece and spoiling the crap out of Miss Amelia. Life is good my peeps, life is  good.