Back in Bizz-ness!

Don’t judge me for spelling that the way I did, I like it, I am feeling a little snarky so just go with it.

I have been computerless since Friday, FRIDAY!! That’s a whole weekend with no computer, not to mention the 3 days prior to computergeddon (it involved smoke) when I was sick and didn’t  want to check facebook, email or blogland. Sooooo TECHNICALLY I have been disconnected from the world since Tuesday night (ok that’s a bit dramatic, but the computer IS a pretty big part of my life, pathetic isn’t it?) Good news is that the Best Buy Geek Squad was able to transfer all my old files to the new computer and now I have a new appreciation and love for geeks. And now I have new fancy shmancy laptop that I am in love with, mainly because it doesn’t smoke when I turn it on.

So what have we been up to in Crazyland? Well I already mentioned I was sick with something that resembled strep throat but wasn’t (it was awful, it felt like millions of tiny knives were stabbing my throat).  I still don’t feel all that great and now Josh has it (aren’t grown men FUN when they are sick?) Other than that the kids have been playing outside when the weather allows and enjoying the new sand table and pool (don’t get excited it’s an $8 one from The DG). Speaking of weather…………

Holy Smokes what is going on with Mother freakin Nature!!??!! We have really pissed her off royally huh? Tomorrow is supposed to be real nice, and by that I mean completely bat-shit scary in Oklahoma, Kansas and even poor Missouri again!! The weatherman keeps making a point of using his hand to make a big circle right around OUR AREA when he talks about the weather tomorrow. I kinda want to punch him in the face every time he does it, mainly because it feels like someone is punching ME in the stomach each time.  If you don’t know I have a completely debilitating fear of tornados that turns me into a bumbling, cussing, sweating mess whenever the weather gets bad. Seriously I get all tourette-ish when the radar even has a tiny bit of activity going on. Earmuffs kids, earmuffs.

My heart does go out to all the people in Joplin, it is absolutely horrific what happened there.  I watched the you-tube video of the people in the convenience store and was a bawling mess. Hearing those kids screaming in the background? Gah! My heart can’t take it, I just kept picturing MY kids (and then I cried harder). I hope and pray (hard) that nothing like that happens tomorrow like they think. One, because those poor people in Missouri need a break! and two, because I will have to be committed if it does. Seriously knock me out with a horse tranquilizer if it starts getting bad cause I think I would die of a heart attack before the tornado even reached me.  So good luck tomorrow everyone, get your tornado kits ready, stay up to date with the weatherman (who will probably be doing arm circles right over El Dorado again) and keep an eye to the sky. I plan to have the radio, tv, internet and my cell phone all plugged in to the weather at all times tomorrow (and maybe a bottle of wine in my hand to calm my nerves).

Ok on to pics of the kids. I know that’s all you really care about, I’m lookin at you Amber and Sarah cause I know you probably scrolled right through all the words and went straight to the pictures.

Pax started t-ball this week, this was his first practice, he is one of the youngest on the team.

Here is his #1 fan, can you see her excitement?

The kids had to entertain themselves a lot this week since I was sick, this was just too cute (and they’re not killing each other, BONUS!)

For some reason they always hold hands now when they get their picture taken together now. Oh well as long as I can just get their picture I don’t care what they do!

Daddy and Pax went golfing together on Sunday, Pax was so excited and had a ton of fun. He loves golf!

I was cleaning the kitchen tonight and the munchkins got into Harper’s headband/hat basket. I looked over and she has this tiny crocheted hat from when she was a baby on her head and all her headbands around her neck.

And then I saw this…….can anyone say future blackmail photo (insert evil laugh here)

 

Random Ramblings…

So I don’t really have anything important to say, just felt like blogging and sharing some new pics of the kids.

Pax has been doing better since we implemented the cry jar but he still seems pretty attached to me.

My computer is messed up, the screen is all pink, think it will need to be replaced or just get a new computer….yippee cause money grows on trees!!! Oh wait, no it doesn’t!

My daughter is obsessed with ice. ICE! She eats it like candy, do you think that means she is deficient in something? Like Vitamin K or Z (yes I know there is not a vitamin Z…. right?) It’s quite helpful at restaurants though, give her a cup of ice and she is content till her food comes, it is her little appetizer :) Wish that would fill ME up, I would be SUPER DUPER skinny! This ice habit also reminds me of my college roommate Amy Buller, she ate ice like candy. (As I am typing this, she is eating the ice out of my tea)

Harper is also very entertained at getting herself dressed. she can never do it right, or finish it, but throw some clothes on the floor and she will spend 30 minutes trying to get them on. Totally great for me cause she is so darn quiet the whole time and gives it her undivided attention. Who cares that she usually puts her shorts on her head and her legs through her shirt sleeves, it’s all about quiet time people!!!

Paxton is STILL hoarding paper. When I took him to the doctor the other day they had a whole rack of brochures in the waiting room. You would never notice a thing like that before, but once you become a Mom of a paper hoarder, you eye something like that like it is a 2 headed monster! “AAAAHHHH he is going to want to take one of each home with us! There is like 50 brochures there! Maybe he won’t notice it!!” He did. Luckily he only grabbed one brochure “Outrunning Obesity” (hey never too early to learn about healthy eating habits) and ran up to the receptionist and asked if he could have it. She eyed me warily like “is this kid for real?” I told her he has a small (HUGE) obsession with paper goods, she just smiled an annoyed smile and looked away. Oh sure lady, like my kid is the only paper hoarding kid you have ever seen?…….ok he probably is. Crap.

My husband got a new smoker. Since getting said smoker he has researched recipes, rubs, how much wood to use, blah blah blah, for days now. If only he would put that much effort into house work, my house would be spotless. My family is coming to visit us for Memorial Day and when I told Josh the first thing he said was “oh yes! We can smoke a bunch of s#@* that weekend!” I myself am more excited to hang with my family but smoking s#@* is a close second…..yeah right.

(Harper has now moved away from my ice and has put her shirt on her legs, I can’t make this stuff up people.)

Ok that’s really all I think I have to say. The kids are fighting so I better wrap it up before someone (most likely Paxton) gets hurt.

 

ok so blogger isn’t working right now and it won’t let me post anything which is actually a good thing because I remembered something I wanted to include in this post. It is from Tina Fey’s new book Bossypants. I believe it is the introduction to the book, but I am not sure as I have not read it yet, but I REALLY want to, especially after reading this! Man that girl is all sorts of hilarious!!! Is it bad that I want to frame this and hang it in Harper’s bedroom FOREVER?!?!?! Cause I couldn’t have said it better if I tried…….

A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

Waving the white flag!!!

I surrender people!

The kids have been putting me through the ringer lately!!

Pax is 3 1/2 and has been very independent for a long time! He NEVER gets emotional when I leave, he loves going to Kid Zone and school but for the past week he cries when I leave him!! Even with Nana and Papa which he has never done, he LOVES being with Nana and Papa, usually he would prefer it. Yesterday he woke up from his nap and I was at the movies and Josh said he freaked out! It makes me worried and sad. Is this a phase? Did something happen to him that is causing him to do this? Is he going to be like this FOREVER and never get married and live with me till he is 40 and freak out the neighborhood kids cause he is the weirdo that still lives with his parents? AAAAAHHHHHH!! Today we started the “cry jar” and he gets money if he doesn’t cry when I leave and if he does we take money away. So far it has worked. He didn’t cry at Kid Zone today or when I dropped him off at school. Phew.

And Miss Harper (insert long groan here). I am at my wits end with this girl. She has turned into a complete bully! She bites, pinches, scratches, pulls hair, etc. At first I thought it was just with Paxton but at a friends house on Saturday she pulled a clump of hair out of this poor little (3 yr old) girls head! So embarrassing! I have tried biting, pinching, scratching and pulling her hair (what little hair she has) and she just looks at me and laughs! I have been trying time out but I have to sit there with her and hold her down cause it’s pretty impossible to get a 1 yr old to sit still. I have tried putting her in her crib but then I am afraid she will associate her bed with something negative and not want to sleep in it. Speaking of sleep, that’s my next issue with this little diva. As in she has been sucking at it lately! 3 nights this past week she has woken up and cried for an hour and a half!! So what the heck do I do? Paxton was never a biter or a pincher, so this is all new territory for me. How do you punish a 1 year old and get through to them?!?!?!?!

Also just throwin this out there, but Harper is still not saying Mama! She is saying a few more words, but still not Mama. Whatever, I am over it. (yeah right, ha!)

    

So that’s our life lately, I am googling up a storm trying to figure out what the heck to do about these munchkins. Apparently they are still too young for boarding school…..whatever.

Yeah right like I could ever send these 2 away?