Sometimes, in the midst of this crazy thing called life, we get a moment that puts everything into perspective for us. We step back and think “Aha! I think I might actually be doing an ok job at this parenting business.”
Yesterday began in a real crappy way, at 2 a.m. with Miss Harper wide awake…..until 6 a.m.!!!
I ended up calling in to work, I knew there was no way she was going to be up and ready to go by 9 a.m. and if she was then she was going to be a beast in Kid Zone.
I sent the kids outside to play mid-morning so that I could get some cleaning done. Through the open window I could hear them fighting over this toy and fighting over that toy……until…….the fighting stopped. I look out the window, certain one of them was either strangling the other (hence the quiet) or they had both run off. What I saw was this:
I snuck out there ever so quietly so I could get this moment on camera, because let’s be honest, this does not happen……..like ever!
They eventually heard me and turned around and Harper smiles at me and says “Hi Mom, Pax my best fwend.”
Heart.stops.
I literally question my parenting on a daily basis. Especially when Pax comes home without a sticker or when Harper STILL can’t name her colors very well even though we work on them all.the.time.
I think:
“What am I doing? Why can’t he behave, why does she think EVERYTHING is pink or green!! Why wasn’t there a class devoted to parenting that I could have taken!!! WHO THE HELL LET ME BE A PARENT?!?!?!”
I look at other parents that seem to have their shiz together, and not only do they have it together, but they look like they are enjoying parenthood, not just surviving it.
Me folks? I’m just surviving right now. I am taking it one day at a time. If I have managed to feed them 3 meals that day, they have brushed their teeth at least once, and everyone is still alive at bedtime, well then I consider that day a success.
But every now and then you have a day like yesterday. When you see your kids playing together, willingly. You see their smiles and hear their giggles over something as insignificant as a leaf. And you know……you know that you must be doing something right. They are best friends, they are active, they don’t need video games to be entertained, they enjoy the small things in life. Those small things now will be the BIG things later in life, and I was responsible for that. One day they can tell their own kids:
“My Mom taught me that your siblings will be your lifetime best friends, fresh air is a daily necessity and the real treasures in life can’t be found in a TV show or a video game. They are the ones you find unexpectedly.”
Like a leaf.
And I found an unexpected treasure in that moment, and you better believe I am tucking it away for when I doubt how I am doing as a parent. When Harper looks at me for the 5th time that day and says that the red apple is “gween” or when Pax doesn’t get a sticker because he didn’t share. I will reassure myself that this too shall pass, and that with each day, there is a new possibility for unexpected treasures.
And those are the moments that matter.
(Editors Note: During the typing of this blog, children were in the backyard fighting over a straw……A STRAW! Hey they can’t all be good days, right?)
I also look at other parents that seem to be cruising through parenthood with this easy breezy look on their face and I wonder what the heck I'm doing so wrong! The other day I went to store and didn't realize until I was on the way home that I forgot to brush my hair -- like at all. The entire day. It had been up in a tangled mess since I woke up that morning and when I looked in the rearview mirror and saw what it looked like, I seriously had to question the state of my brain. :)
ReplyDeleteMy point is -- I think we are all surviving -- even the ones who look like they are flourishing ... I don't fall into this category :). You are a great Mom! And your kids are happy and healthy and that is no small feat!
And as far as knowing their colors ... Harper and Grace can trade notes -- Grace says everything is "bue" or "yew" -- put them together and we have most of the colors!
Keep up the good work and always remember this blog -- it's such great perspective. :)
Aw!! Thanks Katie!!
DeleteSo glad we can keep up with each others lives with our blogs. Not much has changed since we were in 5th grade, still spending most of our time writing........it just isn't in a bathroom during recess!! Ha!!