Friday, May 13, 2011

Random Ramblings…

So I don’t really have anything important to say, just felt like blogging and sharing some new pics of the kids.

Pax has been doing better since we implemented the cry jar but he still seems pretty attached to me.

My computer is messed up, the screen is all pink, think it will need to be replaced or just get a new computer….yippee cause money grows on trees!!! Oh wait, no it doesn’t!

My daughter is obsessed with ice. ICE! She eats it like candy, do you think that means she is deficient in something? Like Vitamin K or Z (yes I know there is not a vitamin Z…. right?) It’s quite helpful at restaurants though, give her a cup of ice and she is content till her food comes, it is her little appetizer :) Wish that would fill ME up, I would be SUPER DUPER skinny! This ice habit also reminds me of my college roommate Amy Buller, she ate ice like candy. (As I am typing this, she is eating the ice out of my tea)

Harper is also very entertained at getting herself dressed. she can never do it right, or finish it, but throw some clothes on the floor and she will spend 30 minutes trying to get them on. Totally great for me cause she is so darn quiet the whole time and gives it her undivided attention. Who cares that she usually puts her shorts on her head and her legs through her shirt sleeves, it’s all about quiet time people!!!

Paxton is STILL hoarding paper. When I took him to the doctor the other day they had a whole rack of brochures in the waiting room. You would never notice a thing like that before, but once you become a Mom of a paper hoarder, you eye something like that like it is a 2 headed monster! “AAAAHHHH he is going to want to take one of each home with us! There is like 50 brochures there! Maybe he won’t notice it!!” He did. Luckily he only grabbed one brochure “Outrunning Obesity” (hey never too early to learn about healthy eating habits) and ran up to the receptionist and asked if he could have it. She eyed me warily like “is this kid for real?” I told her he has a small (HUGE) obsession with paper goods, she just smiled an annoyed smile and looked away. Oh sure lady, like my kid is the only paper hoarding kid you have ever seen?…….ok he probably is. Crap.

My husband got a new smoker. Since getting said smoker he has researched recipes, rubs, how much wood to use, blah blah blah, for days now. If only he would put that much effort into house work, my house would be spotless. My family is coming to visit us for Memorial Day and when I told Josh the first thing he said was “oh yes! We can smoke a bunch of s#@* that weekend!” I myself am more excited to hang with my family but smoking s#@* is a close second…..yeah right.

(Harper has now moved away from my ice and has put her shirt on her legs, I can’t make this stuff up people.)

Ok that’s really all I think I have to say. The kids are fighting so I better wrap it up before someone (most likely Paxton) gets hurt.

Popsicles 009 copy popsicle2 popsicle3 popsicle4 popsicle5 popsicle6 popsicle7 Eating......ICE!!! popsicle10 

ok so blogger isn’t working right now and it won’t let me post anything which is actually a good thing because I remembered something I wanted to include in this post. It is from Tina Fey’s new book Bossypants. I believe it is the introduction to the book, but I am not sure as I have not read it yet, but I REALLY want to, especially after reading this! Man that girl is all sorts of hilarious!!! Is it bad that I want to frame this and hang it in Harper’s bedroom FOREVER?!?!?! Cause I couldn’t have said it better if I tried…….

A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.


-Tina Fey


  1. Im DYING with laughter!! You... Tina... its all hilarious!!! hahaha

    your kids crack me up... ice, paper, you'd never know who they get their freakish behaviors from???!! ;)

    cant' wait for memorial day weekend... and to smoke some S&*@!!!

  2. Your kids are getting weirder and weirder everyday :) They look so cute in their summer attire. Josh and all his outdoor stuff. First it was the chimaneah (sp) and now it's the smoker. Can't wait to taste his S&*@!

  3. Amy YOU need to write a book! It is so entertaining to read your posts.